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18145 No.347  

I fucken did it. I have figured out how large Moby Dyke’s flaccid penis is. I know what you’re thinking: How could I have done this? Well, allow me to explain. I started out with an image. The picture was of Mody Dyke and Romulo standing next to each other. This image was exactly what I needed. It came directly from The Lonely Island's authors, so we know for certain that the proportions are correct. Now that we have the two characters, how does one go about actually determining Moby’s length? That’s easy. We only need the length of Romulo Bachman’s penis. Luckily, we have a vague idea of just how large that is. Back in 2016, Loverboy was quoted saying something along the lines of: “I have a massive dick, and I play F/GO in my spare time." From this statement, we can determine one major thing: Romulo slays women with his massive peen.

>> No.348  
File: 1586552962052.png -(96000 B, 256x256) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

But just how big is “massive?” to answer that, we need to do some research. Taking to the paths dimension, I used sand grain measurements, and calculated the length of many many penises, that belonged to various different Bigfuckislandists. I averaged the results, and came up with about 3.8 inches flaccid, on average. If Romulo Bachman truly has a massive penis, than his must be slightly larger than this. Therefore, I elected to round up to 4 inches.

>> No.349  
File: 1586553024103.jpg -(140242 B, 672x668) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Next up, we need to do some more pixel measurements. Romulo is 6’1” so in this situation, we used that number to calculate how many sand grains per inch this picture had. We came up with the number of 7 sand grains per inch. Using this number, we were able to discover that Moby Dyke was 98 inches tall, or 8’2”. The same was done for horizontal width. After some quick calculations, we determined that Moby Dyke was approximately 1.36 times larger than Romulo Bachman. With this proportion in hand, we can now do the unthinkable. If we take Loverboy's length of 4” and multiply it by 1.35, we get 5.44”.

>> No.350  
File: 1586553065306.jpg -(526338 B, 768x1024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Now I know what you’re thinking. 5.44 inches? That’s pathetic. But think of it this way: That’s his flaccid length. Now, imagine Moby Dyke when aroused. On average, the human penis generally doubles in length when going from flaccid to hard. This means that Moby’s kielbasa is likely almost 12 inches, when fully erect. If you still think that this is small, just try and imagine that absolute unit of a cock shoved into your tight little ass. His massive pink rod being passionately thrust back and forth, ripping your rectum to shreds. And don’t even get me started on his cum. The thought of Moby just unloading gallons and gallons of superglue into me just makes me rock hard. There is nothing that turns me on more than Moby’s massive 12 inch dick.

>> No.353  

Um... yikes, sweety. Let's unpack this. This is problematic, because you're implying Moby would fuck a dumb slut like you instead of Moony, who he's obviously pining for, as we can clearly see from a quote in 2019 that I've taken grossly out of context. Therefore, he'd never fill your stupid ass with cum.

TL:DR you're a fucking incel

>> No.354  

Moby has a mangina

>> No.366  


Go back to reddit, epic redditor

>> No.367  


Go back to reddit, retard

>> No.375  

Romuloser clearly doesn't slay women. As shown with Reina, he avoids pussy at all cost, even when it approaches him. Romulo sucks.

>> No.384  

More like he sucks dick

>> No.385  

What the fuck? Were you even paying attention to the manga? Your measurements are incorrect because Moby doesn't even have a dick! He had it surgically removed so that he can fit into his favorite skinny jeans which can be seen in the latest issues that you don't even see his bulge anymore

Still, good try

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